What's In A Name? - Part 5

Fruits seem to be less plentiful. Hindi masyadong ma-RAMIE, according to REM. Meron lang tayong PEÑA, DURAN, SAGUING, PAPAYA, PEACHY, CHERRY at saka Mang-AGUSTIN. Plus APPLE computers that were in great demand for making PIE charts. Pluck the fruits from the SANGA of the PUNO only at the proper time, PAROJINOG, so that they taste MATAMIS. Bihira yung ma-HASHIM na nakaka-NILO ng ngipin. It might be due to the changes in the rainy SISON vs dry SAYSON. If you ask the in-house agriculturists to explain, Aguillon will allege that the LANDO in the vacant LOT is the SANDY-type with plenty of BATU (or, in English, EROK) kaya mahirap mag-aRUARO. It is not of volcanic origin wherein the soil ESLAVA in substance. Maybe, na-TAMBAGAN lang ito ng lupa during the reclamation project period. Hindi kaya kulang sa DELIG because of the WALTER shortage? Baka nakalimutan MAGSALIN ng tubig using ABALDE. For harvesting, we should take the advice of the company doctor to make-ANNIE early, bago ma-RAGAS ang mga dahon as the plants begin to wither and gradually die. The fruits must not be allowed to become LAMUG.

When there is food, there’s got to be the liquid counterpart. “Let’s drink to that!”, as GENE-TONY would proclaim. CLM tries to stay with his SARSI and Doods can offer you different kinds of COLA. On the other hand, the MADLANGBAYAN would prefer higher AL-cohol levels (just ask the BARTE-nder): JOHNNY Walker, JACKY DANIELs, JIM Beam, CARLOS Primero, PEDRO Domecq, CATHY Sark, BUDDY-Weiser, Abso-LUT, Chivas REGALA plus the native favorites GINES-bra San MIGUEL and LAMBINOg. Buitizon and Danny will keep persuading you to try their joint-venture concoction REMY-MARTIN. If you care to listen, Ed will share with you his secret cocktail combination drink: VESTAL beer-gin. We have so many bar-hopping individuals who want to pass the bar exams: BAR-AGA, BAR-BON, BAR-CENAS, BAR-LUADO, BAR-NACHEA, BAR-QUIN, BAR-RIGA, BAR-LISAN, BAR-SUMO, BAR-TOLOME, A-BAR-QUEZ, ACI-BAR and ESCA-BAR-TE. But the bar topnotcher is a lady: BAR-BAR-A because she doubles what the others can do. This intoxicated group however remains unaware that NSC’s official alcohol will always be HENESSEY (if CAPANGPANGAN has not forgotten his supposed original dialect, i.e. huwag TAGALOGON).

At this juncture, after several CASES of beer, the happy people enter the picture: the ladies JOY, LIGAYA and FELICES and the gents ALEGRE, FELICISIMO and MAGSAYO. During special ceremonies (inauguration, house-warming, ribbon-cutting, etc.), then begins to throw the coins all over the place. Pag na-ECHEVARRIAPARAMI ng inom (can I have ENAD-er one?) at SUMAYA na SILAN lahat, it’s time to get ORGAN-ized and bring out the PIANO, si-LENDRO, TRAMPE-ta, LIRIO, VIOLAN-DA and LARRACAS for some music and CANTANO, including FOOKSONgs. An impromptu choir gets hastily assembled to give guidance on the musical notes -- DODO, REY, MIMI, PAZ, SOL, LAT, TIBO (Espenido will surely complain about being assigned the two highest notes). As usual, CHIO-CHUA provide the background supporting sounds together with TIU-CHUACHU. Flores specializes on the vocal ZOILO. Sa kantahan, lumalabas ang talent ni MATURAN, PANOPIO and MANRIQUE. As a matter of fact, Pasig has DANNY JAVIER but without the Apo Hiking Society. In Iligan, you will frequently hear the lonely melodies: “Pobreng ALINDAJAO” and “CAMINGAWAN sa PADAYHAG”. Sad songs can make you cry when Tejada and Yatco go duet -- FIL na FIL talaga ang pagkanta. There are so many good singers at NSC (that’s why we have management practices) that are fit to perform in your favorite noontime show “Eat BALAGA” hosted by Dizon, Sator and Labra acting as TITO, VIC and JOEY. After a well-applauded performance, these guys usually take EBAO. In Makati, especially during YCC’s favorite YOLY-tide SIOSON, kailangan PAQUINGAN the FAMILAR tune: “Ang PASCO ay SUMAPIG, SAYO ay mangagsi-SAWIT……” If ARANDELA is wondering who authorized the singing of the CAROL, she can ask SABALBURO who keeps bragging that – initially speaking -- he is 75% of what X-MAS is all about. DUMLAO reacts naman by saying that your children keep writing “Dear SANTI” letters to him during December and he monitors their behavior CLAUSly throughout the year.