Wednesday, March 11, 2009

WHAT’S IN A NAME ? - Part 8

FOOTNOTE: This is an unfinished draft by RSN, MQV, JIN, RJR, RGC, JYS, TLM assisted by VMB. It was initially attempted in 1986, redrafted in 1992, updated in 1996, and redrafted again in 2002 and 2003. After several on-and-off attempts, the writers concluded that because of its inherent creative nature, this feature article can never be truly finalized by them. It is therefore expected that every reader from the NSC “alumni association” will have something to add, concoct, embellish, delete or otherwise revise versus what was written into this unfinished draft. After reading properly (in compliance with the warning), the reader is invited to try his own skill in creative writing that has been demonstrated (adequately, we hope) by the writers. This way, we could stimulate your minds into recalling those times when we all worked together so hard and so productively and, thereby, enjoyed every minute of it. In so doing, we hope to reassure each other that ….…. YES, WE REMEMBER.

What's In A Name?
(With apologies to Shakespeare and the NSC people)

After 22 years of discussions on organization, people, job evaluations and performance appraisals, so many names still ring in our ears and swim in our heads. Submitting to the propensity for levity even when dealing with the most serious of subject matters, allow us to introduce a bunch of wonderful people with wonder-full names. These gals and guys were in the corporate picture (Iligan, Pasig, Makati, Port Area, Cebu) thru all those years -- the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, whether sober or mad -- as NSC went from STEEL (definitely) to STEAL (allegedly) to STILL (temporarily).

WHAT’S IN A NAME ? - Part 8

people are also animal-lovers. To begin with, everybody is either a CAT or a CHICK (don’t ask about the 3rd sex). Secondly, many Iligan people are always promising “to do their BEAST”. We have ALEFANTE, AGUILA, LEO (when alone), MENELEO (when plenty), LEON (when turned on), PANTALEON (when cross-bred with a panther), LEONE (after acquiring Italian genes), PALOMA, GALAPATI (na hindi mababa ang lipad), BUBOY, CABALLOS, JUNGOY and BUAYA (who may have been excluded from the basketball team). MAGHUYOP takes care of them; palagi niyang ina-ARRIENDA-han sila. CABAHUG feeds them. CAPONES handles population control, especially the dogs whose MADER-AZO keeps producing TUTANES offsprings. Everytime an occasional flea gives MACATOL an itch, kailangan maghanap ng LUNAs. There is no truth to the rumor that they live in PRIMITIVO style in CORRALES and CUEVAS in the BONDOC, or that some even need a LUBGUBAN to escape the heat of summer, CEPRADO from other human beings. We also have the hybrids CAT-HY, CAT-ALINO, CARA-CAT, POSA-DAS, COTING-JO, kam-BING, RINO-ceros, RAM-OS, OSA-BEL, DALOG-DOG, DOUG-LAS, PALA-FOX, HEN-RY, plus the ranch-dwellers BACA-BAC, BACA-NI, BACA-LING, BACA-LLO, BACA-REZA, BACA-RISAS, BACA-RRO, BACA-LSO, LAG-CAO and BULL-ECER. Then we have the linguistically controversial “langgams” (Tagalog or Bisaya, it doesn’t matter): ANT-ONIO, ANT-HONY, ANT-OLIN, DIM-AGUILA, AGUILA-R, BAT-TAD and BAT-ILES. Danny will surely object if listed here as ANC-AJAS. Same case as Rod if treated as GAM-BOA constrictor. We even have the mythical FENIX and, surprisingly, the extinct DINAH-saur. With privatization, we were invaded by a foreign CHONG-go who allegedly attempted some monkey business. Whenever Ulibarri goes to Iligan, he could get into the list of canines as ERU, especially when he is trying to call AU-AU. If he had white body hair and black spots, DALMACIO can join in. If he becomes a shepherd, GERMAN will be included. If BERNARD is a saint, he is also qualified. Moreover, the Ph-D degree holders who work in the office may be described as sitting DOCs. These people keep riding on Toyota TAMARAWs while dreaming of unaffordable luxury-class JAGUARs. The handling-equipment fleet has CATERPILLAR BULLdozers, RAMlifts and mobile/overhead CRANES. The TV sets have RABBIT-ear antennae and the computers have MOUSES. The executive levels also have a special species of rodents: autoc-RATS, aristoc-RATS, technoc-RATS and bureauc-RATS. But, thank God, no pure-breed gutter-level creatures. The maintenance shop has CROCODILE jacks, ALLIGATOR pliers, SPIDER gears, MONKEY wrenches and OCTOPUS connections while the factory buildings have CATwalks for the maintenance crew. The mill croppings are either FISH-tail, KALABAW or PUP coils. And the treasury staff keep the company funds in the KITTY. On holidays, some managers go to the golf course to chase that rare BIRDIE or the even more rare EAGLE. If the weather does not cooperate, then it rains CATS and DOGS on the frustrated golfers. Sometimes, when the bosses are in bad mood (particularly when you happen to “get their GOAT”), erring employees suddenly become mga anak ng TUPA or mga anak ng PATING. On the other hand, when somebody does a TERRY-fic performance, the remarks of adulation will be a resounding “HAYOP, ang galing talaga!”

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